What Couples Do Between Sessions: Proposals, Tasks, and AI Scenes
How couples use structured tools to communicate desire, from play proposals to power-exchange tasks to AI-generated fantasy scenes.
BeMoreKinky Research
Data-driven insights from 11,000 couples on kink, communication, and connection.
I've spent a long time writing about sex, reviewing toys, dissecting power dynamics and arguing with strangers on the internet. But I've never had data before. Not like this.
BeMoreKinky is our app. We built it so couples could actually talk about what they want without the soul-crushing awkwardness of staring at each other across a kitchen table going, "So... do you fancy being tied up, or...?" Partners rate activities independently, propose sessions, explore identities together, and in the process, 11,000 of them (25,000 people in total) generated a dataset that offers a unique view into the world's kinky people.
This series is what that data told us.
The Research Series
What 11,000 Couples Reveal About the Kinks Partners Actually Agree On
The flagship findings: blindfolds beat everything, roleplay divides couples, and experience changes the map.
The Kinks Couples Agree on Fastest
A deep dive into the activities with the highest mutual enthusiasm, and the gap between fantasy and action.
The Most Divisive Kinks in Relationships
Where couples disagree most, which direction the mismatch runs, and what near-universal rejection looks like.
How Kinky Language Is Gendered (Dropping March 21)
The "Good Girl" effect, the 27x demand gap, and what naming preferences reveal about power exchange culture.
How Experience Changes What Couples Want (Dropping March 22)
Which kinks grow with experience, which stay flat, and what that means for couples at different stages.
What Couples Do Between Sessions (Dropping March 23)
Proposals, tasks, quizzes, and AI scenes, how couples use the app to communicate desire outside the bedroom.
Methodology and Privacy
How we collected, anonymized, and analyzed this data, and what it cannot tell you.
A Note About This Data
I need to be upfront about what this is and what it isn't. All findings come from anonymized, aggregate patterns from BeMoreKinky app users between October 2024 and February 2026. These are people who actively downloaded a kink communication app, they are not a random cross-section of the population. They're more communicative, more exploratory, and probably more comfortable with the word "bondage" than your average person (although, more and more "average" people are finding a love of kink). Self-selected community, not representative sample. For the full details on how we handled privacy, anonymization, and analysis, see our methodology page.
Articles in this section
How Experience Changes What Couples Want
Every kink category becomes more accepted with experience, but the size of the shift varies dramatically. Non-monogamy, bondage, and psychological play show the steepest climbs.
How Kinky Language Is Gendered: The "Good Girl" Effect
"Good Girl" and "Good Boy" are accepted at nearly identical rates, but "Good Girl" has 27 times more ratings. What naming data reveals about gendered desire.
The Most Divisive Kinks in Relationships
Roleplay produces the most disagreement. Naming creates unexpected tension. And some activities are near-universally rejected. A look at where couples diverge.
The Kinks Couples Agree on Fastest
From blindfolds to praise to anticipation, the activities with the highest mutual yes rates, and what couples fantasize about but rarely propose.
Methodology and Privacy: How We Analyzed Data from 11,000 Couples
How we collected, anonymized, and analyzed activity data from 11,000 couples - and the limitations of what this data can tell you.
What 11,000 Couples Reveal About the Kinks Partners Actually Agree On
Blindfolds beat everything. Roleplay divides couples. Experience changes the map. Anonymous data from 11,000 app users on what partners actually agree on.